Washington Apple Pi

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District of Columbia: Roads

Visitors to Washington frequently comment on the "sorry" state of the roads. Local residents listen politely, too courteous to correct this misunderstanding. In truth, the District of Columbia is in the middle of an extended testing program for heavy-duty automobiles, and the massive potholes, cracks and craters are not an accident. What appears to be a scene from Mars, on the right, is actually a recently "enhanced" section of Pennsylvania Avenue.

As for the heavy-duty automobiles, locals refer to these jokingly as "urban assault vehicles," or UAVs. While the fuel mileage is quite poor, the typical UAV handles the local roads with aplomb. You can also equip the turrent with optional equipment to discourage tailgaters, (shown below, left). An unusual Swedish model (below, right) lacks a turrent, and was design more for removing slow moving objects from the fast lane. This model is quite popular with pizza delivery services.

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[Mars]

It may look like Mars, but it is actually Pennsylvania Avenue.

[UAV1]

Optional equipment discourages tailgating.

[UAV2]

Popular with pizza delivery services.

Washington Apple Pi Virtual Tours, October 15, 1997